PainofMusik

First I must start with stating I am a very big music head. I will listen to absolutely anything, if it has depth. I sing, I've tried to teach myself to play instruments however imma need a better instructor (ha) but besides that Music has always played a big role in my life. Starting with my father being down in the basement playing drums to him being on tour with Teddy Pendergrass to him being a singer/songwriter. I've watched several artists walk in and out my house. I've sat in the studio that we had in our basement and watched my brother make beats. Therefore, there was no reason for me not to be inspired. When I was younger I wrote songs, I printed out Dru Hill lyrics so I could learn every song and write my own songs. I put on my own concerts for my family. I wanted to entertain but in the midst of all that I began to lose my confidence in my talents and it took and is still taking a lot of me to get back into my free spirited self. But I'm growing daily. If I were a musician I would want to have the sounds of Lauryn Hill or Amy Winehouse, the Passion of Beyonce and the Agression of Etta, the emotion of Billie, the Truth like India and the Modern day Jazz of Chrisette. But at the end of the day, I can't imitate or sound like anyone else but myself. Due to the fact that I am such a music head it hurts to see people I look up to, ruin their career and their talents. Therefore, I am really writing today to share a few of my thoughts on this situation.

She once said "Nothing can be done against the truth/even if we remain in denial" Lauryn Hill was and definitely and still is one of my favorite artists. Her voice is so soulful and powerful. She doesn't have to scat or run all over the track. Yet she could simply sing straight through on the acoustic and change your life. It saddens me to see such a great artist and individual self destruct before my eyes. I dont understand how so many musicians fall into the world of sin. Music is supposed to bring the world together. Musicians are supposed to be leaders and inspire us.

And then [Amy Winehouse] said "Love is a Losing Game", I have realized that music is an outlet. I myself have used music as an outlet therefore I'm sure musicians like Lauryn and Amy do not sing for just attention but to get the pain out of their heart. Unfortuantely music can not completely heal pain so they look in other places. It's weird how their music can be medicine for me more than it is for themselves. Sometimes the music world can drive you crazy. Constantly focusing on money, and image can be very stressful and demanding and everyone can not hold all of this weight.